It’s difficult to register that my Mother-in-Law has gone. She was such a presence that it’s hard to think I’ll never speak with her again or hear her unique take on things. I have some solace, though, in the realisation that she lives on in so many ways and will continue to do so. For the two weeks or so since she passed away, I’ve often thought, ‘oh, I can ask her how that’s done’ but of course I can’t any more. I have her voice in my head, though, still, telling me not to worry and not to spend too much money. I do hope this stays. I have daily reminders of her from her huge influence in the food and shopping departments – she was expert in both areas, and I can’t make a meal or complete a transaction without some awareness of what she’d think about it. When she was very ill towards the end of her life, Babu and I would accompany her shopping every Friday or Saturday (she was in a wheelchair for this) and as frail as she was by then, she still had a boundless energy for finding bargains, choosing the best produce and planning inventive and experimental recipes to complement the traditional Bengali dishes that she delivered so expertly until her very last days (latterly with the help of Santanu and her carers, but still very much under her watchful eye.) She was an extraordinarily tenacious woman in every aspect of her life and her love of food and feeding the people she loved (family and friends alike) continued right until the end. I have many other shopping memories, but a particularly vivid one is from New Market in Kolkata. She sent me into the shop first because she said they’d charge double if they saw us together, and that she’d do all the talking. I wanted a figure of Ganesh that I’m looking at in my living room as I write. She bartered hard for it, making to leave the shop at least three times, each time followed by an increasing number of assistants. It was an entertaining and skilful performance (she told them that the day that money fell from the trees would be the day she paid their prices.) She got the Ganesh for me and some other lovely pieces that she convinced them to throw in. My Mother-in-Law taught me such a lot and I’ll be forever grateful to her: for understanding that women should value themselves and maintain their sense of self at the same time as supporting and nurturing their loved ones; for seeing the funny side of things even in terrible adversity; and for making me understand the importance of hospitality and kindness to others.